Why the Pope is Wrong About Choosing Childfree

I’m sure many of you have heard the news that Pope Francis has fired shots at folks choosing a childfree life. Specifically, he criticized couples who choose to have pets instead of children, saying it is selfish, leads to a loss of “humanity,” and is a detriment to civilization. Blah blah blah. You know what I say? Fuck the patriarchy. The Pope is wrong, and here is why.

Wait, what did the Pope say?

On Wednesday, while speaking to a general audience about Saint Joseph (Jesus’ father), the Pope decided to come for the DINK dog parents:

We see that people do not want to have children, or just one and no more. And many, many couples do not have children because they do not want to, or they have just one — but they have two dogs, two cats … Yes, dogs and cats take the place of children. Yes, it’s funny, I understand, but it is the reality. And this denial of fatherhood or motherhood diminishes us, it takes away our humanity. And in this way civilization becomes aged and without humanity, because it loses the richness of fatherhood and motherhood. And our homeland suffers, as it does not have children.

He didn’t stop there, either, calling us a “greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children.” This struck me as especially odd, because the definition of greed is the “intense and selfish desire for something.” To me, the greedy people are the ones demanding everyone have kids, like parents who demand grandkids or that random coworker who keeps pushing, “when are you going to have babies!?” While some people might be “greedy” about their time and money, it’s presumptuous to assume that is the reason for choosing childfree. The truth is, there are LOADS of reasons why people don’t have kids, and a lot of them are the exact opposite of greedy.

“The choice to not have children is selfish,” the Pope continued. “Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.”

LOL, I don’t know about you, but “rejuvenating” is a word I have never heard a parent use to describe what it’s like having kids. Enriched? Sure. But I don’t think parents are trying to convince anyone that they have more energy after kids than they did before.

My Response to the Pope’s Attack on Childfree Couples

I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s not uncommon for christianity to push for procreation, because that leads to more christian babies (which results in a bigger church following, more money for the church, a guaranteed future, and so on). Moreover, the Pope is like…the actual figurehead of the Patriarchy. The very word “pope” comes from the Greek páppas, originally an affectionate term meaning “father” and later referring to a bishop or patriarch. The Pope IS the Patriarch. Capital P.

So is it really that surprising that he would have a very patriarchal view on having kids? Not really.

Nevertheless, it makes me both sad and frustrated when I hear the same critiques of a childfree life over and over again. Life is fucking hard. It’s expensive. Jobs are tight. Time is short. And, we are facing major threats like social and political turmoil, climate change, and a scarcity of resources as fundamental as clean water.

Is it really any surprise that more and more people are choosing to not have children when we live in a fairly inhospitable place where only the rich can comfortably afford offspring? Moreover, there are innumerable paths we can follow, innumerable purposes we can fulfill to make a positive difference in this world. Having children is just one of those options. It is not the only option.

Why the Pope is Wrong About Childfree

First and foremost, choosing childfree is not selfish. It is self aware. There are many reasons why someone may choose to forego children, and many of them boil down to wanting what’s best for a child. Maybe someone doesn’t have the financial security, the health, or the job flexibility to raise a child well. Many people who choose childfree are intentionally putting an end to trauma cycles their families have been wrapped up in for generations. And, can we all agree that the quality of life for a child is far more important than the quantity of babies we bring into this world?

For many folks, choosing childfree is the exact opposite of selfish.

Now, what about pets? Although pets and children are obviously different, there are a lot of crucial– and healthy– overlaps. For example, owning a pet gives you a sense of purpose and responsibility. And, while pets aren’t human, studies show that we feel the same love for pets that we do for human family members. In fact, sustained eye contact between dog and owner causes the love hormone oxytocin to spike in both (source). For many of us, pets are a healthy way to enrich our lives, just like children are for others.

Lastly, studies (2018, 2012) also indicate that pet ownership correlates with higher empathy. Specifically, pet owners were found to have higher levels of empathy compared to non pet owners. So, while the Pope may argue that choosings pets over kids is diminishing our humanity, I argue that pets are increasing our empathy. And you know what? Maybe we need a little less human and a little more empathy in the world.

What did you think of the Pope’s statement? It’s definitely not his first, and it probably wont be his last. Share your thoughts in the comments!