Hi! I'm Blair, the DINK Dog Mom.
I live in sunny Sacramento, California with my husband, Brady; our two rescue dogs, Junebug and Margot Polo; and our rescue cat, Clark Kent. Like many millennials, Brady and I are childfree by choice and raising dogs instead of babies. For us, pets are family.
So, what exactly is a DINK Dog Mom? I’m so glad you asked. DINK stands for Dual Income, No Kids. It is a real term for a specific demographic, but it’s also used more loosely to describe the childfree lifestyle in general, which is why I sometimes joke that it stands for “Disposable Income, No Kids.” Essentially, DINK life is having the time, money, and flexibility to do what you want when you want.
And for us, that involves dogs.
I’ve been a rescue dog mom for more than ten years, and my love for dogs has grown from a passion into a full-blown hobby. I love spending my time, money, and energy ensuring that my dogs are happy, healthy, and fulfilled– not as surrogate children, but as dogs.
And that is where this blog comes in.
The DINK Dog Mom is a place for childfree women who love their dogs like family. I’m like your childfree bestie who knows a weird amount about dogs, and I’m here to answer your questions, offer thoughtful commentary on childfree life, and encourage you to life your best life, whatever that may look like.
The Origin of the DINK Dog Mom
The real origins of this dog mom blog trace back to 2012 when I was shopping for an apartment. Not just an apartment, but the first apartment where I would live alone. At this time, I was just a SINK– single income no kids, and that single income was minimal at best.I had previously owned a cat, Sinatra, but he had escaped my sister’s house when I was living with her. So that meant no family, no roommate, no cat– just me. Part of me was excited, and part of me was terrified. What if I got lonely? What if I got spooked in the middle of the night?
So I did what any reasonable 23 year old would do.
I decided to get a dog.
I was actually perusing Craigslist for “found cat” posts in case someone had found my missing cat when I came across Mia’s listing. She was in a foster home at the time, and was described as crate trained, leash trained, and potty trained, good with dogs and cats, accustomed to living in an apartment, AND she already knew how to sit. She was also described as shy with strangers, but that didn’t bother me.
We’ll come back to that later.
To be totally honest, I was a little haphazard about adopting a dog. I had grown up with dogs and knew it was a responsibility, but I had done zero research on what sort of dog I wanted. Mia was the only dog I looked at, the only dog I met, and I wanted to adopt her immediately. What followed her adoption was… unexpected.
Fear-Based Reactivity and Aggression
Mia was very shy around people she didn’t know, but once she bonded with me her shyness escalated into fear aggression and full blown reactivity. She snarled and barked at people she didn’t know, wouldn’t allow friends and family to be in my apartment, and every time I took her for a walk, I prayed that no child (or adult) would run up and try to pet her.
I was at a total loss of what to do.
At the recommendation of my dad, I decided to take Mia through obedience classes. I also started reading everything I could about fear aggression in dogs and how to handle it. Mia absolutely thrived in obedience training, and to be honest, I did, too. Once we learned how to communicate, everything changed.
We started desensitizing her to people in my apartment. We worked building engagement while walking. I got her a backpack to wear on walks so she had a job to do. We joined two dog walking groups to better socialize her. And we worked endlessly on training, from basic manners like sit and stay to funny tricks like “play dead” and “beer me!”
Becoming a "dog Mom"
To say Mia was a huge part of my life is an understatement. Mia became a fundamental part of my identity.
Picked up on the side of the highway, Mia was held at the dreaded Brooks Facility (now out of commission). It was well known that dogs who ended up at that overflow shelter were unseen by potential adopters and most frequently euthanized. Tracy, founder of Tracy’s Paws Rescue, got her start when she would go out to Brooks and make videos of dogs that needed homes. Mia was one of them.
The day Mia was slated to be euthanized due to lack of space, her foster spoke up for her. Saved her. This, along with our journey overcoming her fear aggression, inspired me to start rescuing. We fostered nearly 20 animals together.
Mia is the reason I connected with my husband. Although we had met previously through a mutual friend, we started hanging out at the dog park. And, like I said, dogs continue to be a really big part of our lives.
Mia inspired me to become a runner, something I never thought I would do. She got me through grad school, one of the most stressful times in my life. We went hiking together, went to bars and restaurants together, tubing, kayaking, stand up paddling, and more. We road tripped to West Texas– twice!– and she became an important part of my family’s Annual Ladies-only Camping Trip.
As Mia got older, I wondered how I would ever be able to survive her passing. She died unexpectedly on August 30, 2019, after an unknown tumor on her liver ruptured; she was only 8 years old. Fortunately, she was happy, playful, and very much herself right up until the end, and both my husband and I got to say goodbye.
DINK Dog Mom Life Today
Although it has been difficult and very painful without her, our time together continues to bring me joy– so much joy that it overshadows the sadness surrounding her passing. I think about her every single day, and I am also so happy to have rescued two new pups to honor Mia’s memory: Junebug, another rescue from Tracy, and Margot Polo, an australian shepherd from Lone Star Aussie Rescue.
This blog is very much inspired by Mia and her legacy in my life. It’s my way of sharing everything I learned as a struggling dog mom in my 20s, and all of my adventures as a slightly-more-experienced dog mom in my 30s. I’ve come such a long way from that uncertain 23 year old renting my first apartment alone.
Today, I get to live a life inspired by my dogs, which I think is pretty damn cool. And, since I don’t have kids, I can spend a lot of time and energy learning about and caring for my dogs, which I am always excited to share with you!
So welcome to my DINK dog mom life. Thanks for being here!
